Speak Your Truth by Fearne Cotton

Author:Fearne Cotton [Cotton, Fearne]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781409183198
Publisher: Orion
Published: 2021-01-06T23:00:00+00:00

Why I Hate Traditional Fun

Sometimes we don’t speak our truth as we feel embarrassed and like we might be the only weirdo who thinks a certain way. How wonderfully narcissistic! I feel like this all the time: ‘Maybe I’m the only one in the world who has felt like this!’ Highly unlikely. I’ve learned that when you get talking you see that you’re never, ever alone.

I met up with rapper, spoken word artist, podcast legend and all-round brilliant chap Scroobius Pip last year and had a brilliantly frank chat about life. Another surprising and joyful theme in me speaking my truth at work is that others want to speak their truth to me! We talked about socialising and how overwhelming the modern world can be. He eloquently voiced how he isn’t very good at and doesn’t enjoy fun. Oh. My. God. Pip just spoke MY truth to me without me even knowing that is how I actually felt. My truth was unlocked by someone else’s truth.

I’ve never been good at fun and I’ve not much enjoyed what is classically depicted as ‘fun’. Dancing wildly in nightclubs, necking warm wine at house parties, dancing on tables in bars. I usually shudder at the thought. I spent most of my twenties with a sprained ankle because I thought I should be in clubs wearing impractical calf-shattering stilettos but feeling so absurdly uncomfortable most of the time that I blurred my vision with alcohol. Now, don’t get me wrong, of course I did end up having fun on quite a few of these nights but I’m still not sure that nightclubs and suspiciously blue cocktails are where fun is for the real me.

Pip was the first person I had heard talk about not liking fun in this way. Before our conversation, I spent years thinking I was the only person who didn’t enjoy classic fun. I spent so long worrying there was something wrong with me and that I was faulty in some way because my idea of fun was much more quiet than the wild and crazy cliché. I was too scared to admit this to anyone in case they thought I was a little odd, but ultimately I was less afraid of their judgement than my own because I already feared I was an oddball. Pip openly and contentedly going against the grain seemed inspiring and actually very cool, which allowed me to see that my love of a quieter life could be a cool quirk too rather than a deep worry.

I think about this particular concern a lot as, in my thirties, I’ve really honoured my truth and have stayed at home reading books and drinking tea. There have of course been wickedly fun weddings where my step-daughter Lola and I have quite literally taken over the dance floor, and moments of madness on holiday with gin and sunburnt cheeks, but these stick out as lovely memories maybe because they are infrequent and so more special. Now nearing the end

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